Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Professional Domination
What intrigues and enslaves so many different kinds of people from Canadian truck drivers to British politicians? Why does a young man in college save up for six months to visit a Dominatrix so he can smell, touch, and kiss Her feet? Why does a 50 year old C.E.O. visit his Domina once a week over a dozen years to grovel beneath Her and proclaim his eternal devotion? What's the connection between an East Indian Fakir laying almost naked on a bed of nails, and a North American business man wearing only leather cuffs and whip marks?
I strongly advise my visitors to never analyse why they need their particular fetish and/or fantasy. It is unhealthy to deny your inner desires, so fully explore your secret self, and have FUN through S/M play. If you are not lucky enough to have your own personal Dominant and submissive relationship, seek Professional help! A Pro Dom should be able to offer you a clean and safe collection of creative and traditional S/M equipment in a professional dungeon. She should also possess intelligence, wisdom, creativity, passion, honesty, and S/M experience. A good Dominatrix will have a deep understanding of human behavior, and (contrary to popular belief), sincerely like men. An extensive wardrobe and a beautiful physical appearance are not the only standards to judge a Professional Domina by.
Of course a gorgeous latex clad Woman towering over you in six inch heels may bring you to your knees with Her beauty, but can She keep you there perched precariously on Her stilettos? The fetishes and fantasies that Pro Doms cater to (yes, We are providing a service, and you deserve to get what you pay for) require expertise as well as equipment. Your fetish/fantasy scenario is as distinct and unique as the Domina who fulfils it, and should be customised for the both of you, not read from a script. Professional Dominatrixes deal with (mostly gentlemen's) Sadomasochistic (S/M) fetishes and fantasies. There are eight areas of fantasy that a Professional Dominatrix caters to; Bondage, Discipline, Training , Crossdressing, Infantilism, Role-play scenarios (including Medical Scenes), Torture, and Body Worship,(Non-oral-genital.) Any of these fantasies may cross over into each other, and are mostly experienced by visitors only two to three activities per session. Many scenarios within the same hour or two can be too time consuming and costly for many submissives, and/or masochists.
A submissive and a masochist are not the same. A submissive is one who enjoys giving over control (sexually or not) to their Dominant. A masochist is a person who sexually enjoys pain and humiliation. Most submissives are Masochists, but not all are.
Dominants , Sadists and Mistresses are not the same, either. A Dominant is a Person who enjoys being in control (sexually or not) of a submissive. A Sadist is someone who sexually enjoys inflicting pain or humiliation on a masochist (from the name Marquis De Sade). Mistress is the title of a Woman who Dominates a man or a woman, Professionally or privately. Most Dominants are Sadistic, although not all are.
You know from my previous article that Professional Dominatrixes are not prostitutes, and in this article you will learn what a that a good Dominatrix should be a professional guide through the arts of S/M. The Latin translation of Dominatrix is Queen. I am a Professional Dominatrix , Sensual Sadist, and Lifestyle Mistress.
Sadomasochism is any activity that combines one person's sexual enjoyment of giving up control, with another person who sexually enjoys taking control. The controlled situation does not have to be sexual, but the enjoyment is. E.g. walking behind and to the right of your Dominant, or doing the housework in a collar, as a slave. S/M does not necessarily involve pain, humiliation , bondage or sex.
Myself, and other 'Professional Dominatrixes' practice Safe, Sane & Consensual Domination. Safe, meaning all precautions, including viral and bacterial protections are taken before the S/M scene; Sane, meaning no alcohol or drugs, and no unconscious people, minors, or anyone else unable to make a valid decision are involved the scene; and Consensual meaning , All people, including voyeurs, agree to any or all activity that may take place, and fully understand the risks involved.
ANYONE may exit the scene at any time, with the proper use of safe words. This is so the submissive does not have to "tell" the Dominant which direction the scene should take, but can still communicate with respectful S/M etiquette. We use RED, YELLOW, & GREEN. "Red Mistress", means, ' Please stop the entire scene NOW because of medical concerns, I feel ill'; "Yellow Mistress", means, 'Please stop the session for a moment to talk about minor concerns, I feel uncomfortable.' "Green Mistress", means, 'Please continue exactly what You are doing, it feels great.' Both the Dominant and the submissive can use safewords. If the masochist loses the ability to judge their safety in the heat of a whipping scene, the Sadist must recognise when to call "Yellow". It is my opinion that a good Dom should be able to read the body language and cries of their sub before the sub has to use a safeword. However, some submissives give as much feedback as a rock (as My Mentor said; it's the same as a person who is a "dead-fuck") , and it is difficult to know a visitor very well during the first session. At least "Red" should be called, because I can't play with a broken "toy".
If you trust me, I will bring you slightly past your "yellow" limit, then ease off. I assume "Green", but it brings me great pleasure to make my submissive feel good, so you may say "Green" as often as you wish.
If you wish the scene to start the second you enter your Mistress's domain, please talk about safewords on the phone during negotiations, before the session. Also, ask your Dominant if your limits will be respected. Submissives are not worth less than Dominants; respect should be mutual. Finally, inquire about her cleaning methods, and where and how she learned the techniques of Domination. If she doesn't answer your questions, visit a Domina who does.
One more Definition before W/we get to the intimate stuff; a Fetish can be defined as a sexual attraction to any inanimate object or non-sexual body part. The most commonly fetishised objects are feet, stiletto shoes, high heel boots, legs, and stockings. Hands, fingernails, gloves and cigarettes are very popular as well. I have one visitor who has a fetish for navy-blue leotards and turtlenecks with faded blue jeans on the Mistress, and on himself. Mistress Poison has a visitor who has a fetish for rubber rain boots, and a raincoat on the Mistress.
Bondage is the most requested S/M activity. There are four types of bondage; Hard, Soft, Humiliating, and self-restraint. Hard, or heavy, can include being caged, boxed in, buried, metal chains and hand-cuffs, plaster mummification, multi-point suspension, needle and thread restraint (blood-play), and multi-sensory deprivation (hearing, sight, touch, etc.). Temporary piercing is one method of nipple or genital bondage which would be considered hard bondage. Nipple or genital bondage can be heavy or soft, depending on what ties are used, and how they're used and if the nipples, cock and/or balls or cunt is tied to something. Soft, or light bondage can include leather or rope restraint of the neck (but not strangulation!), wrists and/or ankles, a straightjacket, a body bag, an arm-binder, a hood, a gag, a blindfold, latex or plastic-wrap mummification, 2 or 4 point suspension, and single sensory deprivation. Humiliating bondage often includes "forced" feminization with the sub being restrained with a corset, high heels, a wig and makeup. ( Dominas in corsets and thigh-high lace-up stiletto boots are also in bondage, but are not humiliated. I can get uncomfortable in heels after a few hours, but I feel and look very powerful when I am wearing my fetish gear. A man (who is not crossdressing) in heels and a corset is an embarrassing sight.) I have humiliated a visitor in a public cafe while he was wearing his leather cuffs and studded collar under his Bay St. uniform of a suit and tie. I told him to loosen his tie and undo his buttons so he would be embarrassed if people saw his slave collar. Self bondage is self explanatory. Any method of restraint done by a person to their self, such as; a woman tying her ankles to her bedposts before she goes to sleep. Self bondage can also mean ordering the submissive to remain in one spot or position, with only their will restraining them. The person who is in bondage can be tied to their self, (wrists to ankles), another person, (which is very fun), or to an inanimate object such as a chair. Most Doms have special equipment for restraint, such as a bondage horse, a bondage bench, a St. Andrew's cross, a bondage table, an inverting rack, a torture wheel, a sling, a bondage post, a rack and pulley system, or even a suspension cage with a pulley system equipped for several hundred point suspension.
A common reason why bondage enthusiasts like to be tied up is that they need to feel helpless and under complete control of their Mistress. Many people feel secure and safe in a very limiting position. Some of My visitors like to struggle against their bonds and feel restricted and uncomfortable. Some people get excited by the notion that they have been captured or kidnapped, so a frequent request is "inescapable bondage". Many S/Mers experience a floating, weightless "out-of-body" feeling, especially when they are mummified or in multi-point suspension. To Me, bondage is a perfect way to escape from My physical body, and be released from the responsibilities that I carry. (Yes, I do switch in My personal life.) Every good Dominant should experience S/M as a submissive, or at least a "bottom's" point of view. (The Top is who controls the activity that takes place, but does not control the bottom. The scene, not the bottom is controlled by the Top.)
The second most requested service of a Professional Dominatrix is discipline. Then pain of physical discipline comes in two types; a "thump" feeling, which can come from a heavy and wide flogger, a paddle, or a padded baseball bat; and a "sting" sensation, which can be given with a single-tail bullwhip, a rubber strap, or a thin cane. Discipline can be defined by the four categories of hard, soft, humiliating, or self. Hard, or heavy discipline, can mean the masochist being hit tens or hundreds of times with a bullwhip, a leather or rubber flogger, a leather, rubber or wooden paddle, a leather or rubber strap, a tawse (a 2 or 3 pronged strap), a wooden, plastic or metal cane, a rubber hose, or any other object that causes great and lasting pain. Practically any implement can be painful, depending on how it is used. I have disciplined an adult baby with his heavy, urine soaked diaper whapped against his bum. Marks, scarring, or bleeding is optional, and your limitations and safety words must be communicated to your Mistress before the scene starts.
Soft, or light discipline, can be experienced through an erotic hand spanking, a soft yet heated encounter with a horse-tail flogger, a firm wooden hair brush , a tickling feather duster, or any other method of gently sensitizing (increasing the feeling) the skin or genitals. Soft discipline is absolutely necessary before heavy discipline, in order to warm up the masochist (or devoted submissive). Humiliation is most often verbal, as opposed to physical abuse. This can be hard to soft, ranging from severe psychological abuse, disturbing a soul to it's core; or light-hearted name calling. E.g.; "You're more pathetic than a poodle with a pink pedicure." According to My Mentor: "Discipline through humiliation disturbs and breaks down the submissives' ego, questioning the fundamentals of who they 'think' they are." A Dominant can see how much they are injuring a submissive through physical discipline, but can not see how badly they are hurting a submissive through verbal discipline. Self discipline is obvious, any abusive act done by a masochist to their self. (Note the small but dedicated group of religious zealots that practice self-flagellation. These men are not ostracized, but looked up to and revered as holy men.) Discipline is not wholly defined by the tools of pain, but how the implements are used. I can give such a light, relaxing whipping with a seal-skin flogger, that you will feel that you have just had a therapeutic massage. I can also use the same tool to turn your back into a red, swollen mess. If a feather is used long enough, and in one spot, the subject might be screaming for the session to end. These are the delicious nuances of S/M.
The reasons why people enjoy discipline range from the profane to the sacred. A masochist may desire the sting of his Mistress's whip as he is reaching his sexual peak. The line between pleasure and pain is very thin to many S/Mers. Some people feel an intense need to be punished for current, past, or even imagined misdeeds, and their Mistress's flogger releases them of their guilt. Some submissives take the discipline that their Mistress gives them through devotion, to please them, and satisfy the Doms' sadistic urges. Some slaves swallow the pain out of obedience. Religious people perceive that discipline completely absolves them of their sins. There are still festivals in many Spanish countries where dozens of men parade through the city beating their backs with leather floggers tipped with razor blades. They believe this is spiritually cleansing, and can reach a spiritually ecstatic state, and feel closer to their god.
Many of our visitorss understand the need for themselves to be properly trained through S/M. There are (mainly) 7 different training methods; submissive, maid, slave, slut, toilet, dog or equestrian training. Submissive training involves teaching the S/M novice the fine arts of S/M etiquette, how to behave to a Mistress or a Master, how to hold your body, and how to treat a Dom the way They deserve--including massage, manicures and running Their bath-- generally making your Dom's life easier. Maid training involves all aspects of housework; laundry, dishes, floors, windows, cooking, preparing cocktails, serving, laying out your Dom's clothing, dressing your Dom, bathing Them, and (if you are very well trained, and won't embarrass your Dom,) They might allow you to serve at one of Their parties. Slave training means totally surrendering yourself, and doing everything that you have feared your Mistress or Master might ask of you. This may mean sexual, or even "humiliating" or humbling favors for Theirself, or Their friends. Slave training is the strongest way that a submissive can show his or her true devotion to their Owner .
Slut training is simply being an shameless , vulgar harlot. It often means throwing your ego out the window, and being a complete trollop. This includes body language, clothing, makeup, and sexual knowledge. Most slut training involves men crossdressing as whores and behaving as such. Toilet training usually entails receiving the honor of your Dom's bodily wastes, such as urine. 'Golden showers' are quite safe and sensual. Urine is sterile as it leaves the body, but I would not advise drinking it unless you have seen a 100% negative Lab Test result from your Dom's doctor. Your Dom might demand that you are "potty trained" and wear diapers, and order you to use them. If They are especially wicked, They might tell you to clean Their toilet with any tool They demand, including your mouth. For those who crave the "ultimate" in dirty play, there's always feces, or shit, called 'Brown Showers'. This can carry all bacteria and viruses, H.I.V. , Hepatitis (A.B.&C), parasites, and e.coli among other diseases. For the extremely perverse; 'Roman Showers', are to be gifted with your Mistress's vomit.
In dog training, you are taught how to be a "sick puppy". The dog will walk on all four paws in a leash and collar, and do many tricks for its' Mistress's or Master's amusement. Good dogs may lick their Owner's hands or feet, and sleep at the end of Their bed. Equestrian training involves you learning how to behave as a horse, and how to carry your Rider bareback, or with a saddle. Sometimes you may have a bit and bridle in your mouth, and if you are a proud pony, your Rider might let you use a butt-plug with real horse hair as a tail. If you are bad, your Owner will dig Their spurs into your sides, and hit you with Their riding crop. Training is a form of role-play, but it is usually long term, and only undertaken when a commitment or a written or verbal contract has been made between the Mistress or Master and the submissive. Some people enjoy training because they need very strict rules on how to live, and have difficulty with self-discipline. Some submissives are in need of very ritualized control. This makes expectations very clear, and life very simple.
Training is a positive way to dedicate yourself to your Mistress and Sadomasochism.
Crossdressing through Professional Dominatrixes mainly involves men wearing the clothing of a Woman, including pantyhose (to hide that bulge), panties (silk or satin), high heel shoes, dress, wig, and makeup. Bras often support $40- $400 breast forms, corsets or waist cinchers create curves, and padded girdles give the illusion of feminine hips and a rounded ass. Sometimes, Women will wear the clothing of a man; usually a business suit and tie, men's shoes, and maybe even a hat. Some Women bind their breasts with elasticized tension bandages, and even "pack" a dildo or any other penis-like shaped object in their jockey shorts, or under their boxers in a jock-strap. Many cut their hair in a "masculine" fashion, and use makeup to create the illusion of stubble. A few 'Drag Kings' will glue moustaches, beards, or sideburns to their faces.
Crossdressing is not necessarily practiced by men (or Women) who wish to permanently become the opposite sex. Most people simply enjoy wearing the costume and accessories of the gender they are not , in order to experience sexuality from an opposite point of view. Some people crossdress for entirely non-sexual activities. Some men crave a release from having to be in control and "all powerful". They enjoy the "feminine, powerless or helpless" softer, and more relaxed and emotionally sensitive manner that they believe Women experience. Some Women enjoy the powerful aspects of being a man in a business suit, as well as experiencing the "masculine", confident, more controlled and emotionally strong manner that they perceive men have. Some people portray the negative stereotypical appearance of the opposite sex such as the "slut" or the "sleezeball". It is not realism, or "passing" that matters, so much as having fun. Some crossdressers prefer to be as authentic or "passable" as possible, in order to enjoy the full benefits of the opposite sex. Crossdressing is simply another way that some people have of escaping the responsibility, burden, and weight that their soul carries.
Infantilism is not pedophilia, a sexual attraction to children, as many people believe. Many men and Women merely feel the need to go back to a simpler, softer, and safer time.Infantilists are incredibly sensual people. There's thick cottony diapers, creamy baby oil, silky diaper powder, Mommy's warm breasts, soft clean blankets, dairy fresh milk, constant and loving attention, and the strongest and most powerful love of their adoring mother. When is the last time you played with blocks? When is the last time you "flew" on the tire swing hanging from the maple in your mothers' garden? When is the last time you played in the sun until you fell asleep, and your parents carried you onto the porch to continue your nap? When you woke up, Mommy was smiling at you with a plate of your favorite foods, and no vegetables. Afterwards, two desserts! Adult babies have the best of both worlds. They are young enough at heart to be purely and simply happy, and old enough to understand how wonderful life can be.
Role-play or fantasy scenarios are a huge part of Professional Domination. An extremely popular scene is the medical scenario, where I can examine you as a Cruel Nurse, or a Sadistic Doctor. Enemas and catheters are commonly used in Our medical examinations. Medical sounds (increasingly sized probes of sterilised surgical stainless steel, inserted down the head of the cock via the urethra) are a quick and effective way to stimulate the bladder and prostate. Our authentic, leather covered medical table is excellent for securing the nervous patient while We administer the procedures. Many different sizes of sterile needles can be inserted into the patient's skin. Our cold stethoscopes will jolt your genitalia and get your heart racing. Very safe and realistic surgical procedures such as castration can be simulated. Electroshock therapy is still practiced in Our clinic. We can expertly use a scalpel to cut you, then professionally stitch you up with sterile sutures. Don't worry, We have dozens of clamps to "stop the bleeding". If you are in need of injections, we could safely use a needle and sterile saline solution to inoculate you, or maybe increase the size of your testicles with the same technique. Cupping and leeches are not out-of-date practices with Our medical staff. To clean you after "surgery", Our caring candy-stripers can give you a bath in the antique tub in Our studio, or if you are too "weak", maybe a sponge bath.
Some people ask Professional Dominatrixes for role-play or fantasy sessions because they need their dreams turned into reality in a safe, consensual, and authentic manner. They sometimes use the reality that We have created with them for their own masturbatory desires at home, whenever they feel the urge. Some visitors use role-play sessions with Dominants for non-sexual needs. These people have intense personal and psychological reasons, such as claiming power over past negative issues, or reliving happy memories. It would be extremely expensive and impractical for someone to hire an entire production company, when one or two good Doms could fulfill the fantasy for a reasonable fee.
Another aspect of S/M is torture. Bondage and discipline is not necessarily torturous. Many of My visitors crave extreme pain. Being a Sadist, I enjoy giving it to them. As a Professional Dominatrix, I can torture someone quite safely and consensually. I could tie them up, and lash them until they cry with one of my well-used floggers. I could apply electricity to their genitalia, or affix biting little clamps to their nipples. Many drops of hot wax followed by a bucket of ice-cold water can be fun, too. Brushing a kitchen grater or sandpaper across the skin is always effective. I personally believe that keeping someone in constant fear is much more effective than brute force. A few softly whispered words, or a bullwhip whistling past someone's ear can make the anticipation more torturous than the pain. Something as innocent as a feather repeatedly brushed across a submissive's lips, and never allowing her to scratch them with her tongue or fingers can be nicely evil. Many people enjoy torture for the sheer terror, then the following rush of adrenaline and endorphins . Some people like the feeling of being completely out of control . Some people like to "live on the edge", and this can be done safely with a Professional Dominatrix.
A few Dominatrixes allow their visitors the intimacy of "oral servitude". Myself, and any other Dominas affiliated with the Toronto Power Exchange do not service our visitors with oral-genital skin-to-skin "body worship". We permit our gentlemen to adore our spiritual presence and physical body in a manner which is clean, legal, safe, and in keeping with the proper etiquette of a Mistress/submissive relationship. An Associate of Mine has a favorite joke, where She tells a submissive to stand ten feet away from Her, and "orally" worship Her body. Of course, many gentlemen are completely tongue-tied at this point, and are totally unsure if She is serious or not. Some men are smart enough to verbally worship Her, and they are rewarded with the Mistress's attention. Occasionally, I will allow you to smell my feet, and if you are very well behaved and deserving, sample the aroma of other, more intimate parts of My body, such as My hair, neck, or underarms. Then, if you are a properly submissive gentleman, you will be allowed to touch and massage My feet. If you do a good job, you will be honored to massage My legs, My neck, and maybe even My bare back. If you can keep composed and polite, I will allow you to kiss and lick My feet. If you are still a good boy, and do not slobber too much, you may be privileged to lick and kiss My ankles, My calves, and maybe even the sensitive area behind My knees. For a final reward, you may use only your sense of smell to try to imagine what I personally, and intimately taste like.
I think no less of a kinky man who enjoys to be hung from his bound wrists and ankles to achieve sexual ecstasy, as I do of a shaman who hangs balls and fruit from Her skin with flesh-hooks to reach a state of spiritual ecstasy. Kinky sexual S/M is just as important and legitimate as "pure" spiritual S/M. Many of the practices and activities are virtually identical. Whether you want to have sensual fun, or seriously enrich your spirit, each person must do whatever their soul asks for.
